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Sunday, November 21, 2010

Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder


I have been gone so long, I might be writing to thin air, and I wouldn't blame my few readers for abandoning ship.  The reason for my absence feels like a foray into hell.  I know it could be worse, but my life was literally turned up-side-down!  I've tried to be very private about this, but I think it would be therapeutic to write about it.
I have been happily married for 36 years, and one of my favorite movie songs and scenes was from The Wedding Singer's "I Wanna Grow Old With You!" Just before summer began, my husband  asked me to look him in the eye and tell him if I was cheating on him.  If you know me, you know that's laughable.  I was puzzled and thought, "How cute!  He still thinks I'm hot!"  But the amusement ended quickly as he began to claim to see me "about town," heard neighbors "talking" about my exploits, and began to spy on me (he even secretly placed an audio recorder in the house).
I had just had major abdominal surgery, but ended up having to live with my youngest daughter for about three months because I just couldn't convince him of my faithfulness.  My daughter decided that they needed to move shortly before I had to have another minor surgery.  Because the two surgeries were so close, I didn't do well, and needed to be cared for constantly for a few days and ended up back home with my husband.
He says he no longer believes I cheated on him since I've sworn innocence on my dad's  last dying breath....and everything is fine now?!?! It is like the last several months have not happened as far as he's concerned.  He thinks he is fine, but is seeing a therapist (I am, too--although separately for now), but it seems up to me to forgive, forget, and to trust that we can go back to the happy marriage that I thought we had until spring ended.  I can't talk to him about it at all, and I promise not to bore you anymore with my saga.  Hopefully, I can get the desire to blog and craft back and continue gaining friends, ideas, and insight from you lovely folks out there.  Wish me luck